Thoughts from the unemployed void
Fair warning that, if you usually have time for my writing, you certainly won’t now; what’s typically an even mixture of extraneous, forced D-rate subjectivity AND industry tips will, for this blog, be purely the former.
Why you may ask?
First of all, you’re probably not asking as either a) you’re a friend or family member who already knows the cause, and condition of, my mental state, or b) you’ve read the title of this blog.
However, in case you fall into neither of those buckets, I’ll lay things out in Leyman’s terms: I was part of a reduction in force.
We clear? No? Ah, must be the canned CEO-speak I wrapped the message in. Let me try again: I was unfortunately a bi-product of a company re-org.
Wait…that’s not any more instructive, is it? Ok ok ok I’ll bite: I was laid off. While I’ve gone most of my life in a proverbial heads-up-penny state, tails never fails to getcha at least once, and it got me.
If this was, say, 2019, the reason for my current (un)employment status would be an anomaly, especially in tech. Booming economy, low unemployment, SaaS companies in full hypergrowth FTW mode, etc.
Sadly, four years, a pandemic, and any remaining admiration for Kanye have all come and gone since the arbitrary year picked above, and layoffs are not an anomaly — if anything, they’re the norm. 4/5s of FAANG; Microsoft IBM, Salesforce; seemingly every mid-to-large tech start-up; and surely plenty of bespoke medical mask dealers have all undergone reductions in-er, excuse me, layoffs, in the past year, with this last month (January 2023) seemingly being the nadir.
With an army of previously employed, qualified candidates all vying for the same opportunities in a significantly reduced pool, no matter how green the grass may be elsewhere, it’ll be harder than ever for jobseekers to find their new yard. In advance, save it, strawmen 80 year old right-leaning grandparents — I can’t just “walk into the nearest corporate office and give the hiring manager a firm handshake.” Sadly, that’ll have to wait as I, and the hundreds of thousands of others in my situation, first have to:
Update my LinkedIn & resume
Receive and parlay texts, calls, LinkedIn DMs, etc. from seemingly everyone I’ve ever known inquiring about my state (this is wonderful, not a complaint but certainly time-intensive)
Remember how to talk to strangers on Zoom
Determine the ideal profile, comp, etc. for my next job
Apply, apply, apply
Pray
Get a screening interview —> pray —> speak with hiring manager over Zoom —> pray —> speak with skip-level manager over Zoom —> pray —> spend 2-4 hours doing on “onsite” Zoom panel with members of the team that, most likely, includes a project component —> pray —> MAYBE receive an offer —> negotiate and squirm —> accept offer
(Above steps may vary depending on title, role, etc. lol.)
Ironically, I’m actually busier than I was in my previous full-time role…and I’m sure I’m not alone. Imagine juggling multiple Step 7s with multiple companies simultaneously. Not fun, eh?
Speaking of — if there’s a dearth of fun, what emotions and thoughts are currently renting the shabby one-bedroom-studio that is my brain?
Not sure why you’d be interested, but, in the off-chance you are, read on, brave reader!
AAA — anxiety, anticipation, agitation
No, not the car insurance (though I recently realized that AAA discounts are abundant in the travel industry, so that’s nice).
On the contrary, this month’s menu’s been chalk-full of the killer A’s. As an already neurotic Jew, the presence of the aforementioned A’s is not unexpected, but regardless, not so pleasant to experience.
As any good Marketer would (hire me, please!) let’s break down the acronym into it’s component parts:
Anxiety — Gray is anxious that he still doesn’t know where he’ll get money for his exorbitantly high Bay Area rental once his severance runs out. Additionally, Gray is anxious that, with each concurrent layoff, an already-tight job market is getting even tighter and that he’ll be the last one standing in Hiring Musical Chairs. Finally, Gray is also anxious about how he comes off to perspective employers: is his experience satisfactory? Is he professional and mature enough? Is his Zoom background distracting?
Anticipation — If/when Step 7 in the process listed above nears potential completion Gray becomes filled with anticipation about receiving an offer. Gray also, quite eagerly, anticipates the day in which he can stop searching for new roles and feel stable again. On a somewhat parallel note, Gray also anticipates the opportunity to start somewhere fresh with a new role that he loves!
Agitation — Gray spends the vast majority of days in a state of agitation, knowing that he is still firmly entrenched in the Unemployment Circus
Add those up and you’ll get yourself a pretty potent cocktail of unrest. Tasty right? Ehhh….I think it could use a bit more flavor…
Insecurity
Layoffs hurt everyone, but they kill Achievement-oriented folks like me.
I’ve always been a Goody Two Shoes. 4.2 GPA in high school, 33 ACT, full-tuition college experience, 3.88 GPA upon graduation, etc. etc. etc. (not-so-humble brags there but alas, I can’t resist). While the above accolades come to some folks naturally — my brother, for one — they required a bit of elbow grease and desire from me. And, from birth, I’ve been happy to deliver. Blame it on being the older child, genetics, etc. — whatever it is, I strive to strive.
So, imagine my unrest when I, very publicly, become jobless. Like Leo DiCaprio’s Teddy Daniels’ character in Shutter Island, I, too, wish that I could’ve been lobotomized before accepting the truth of my situation (JK JK just an analogy, don’t worry Mom). My job was intimately connected with my sense of self-worth, and without it, my ego took a heavy body shot.
…Excitement?
Plot-twist: this Fun Marketing Guy is, despite the above two dominant emotions, full of hope!
First, a disclaimer: I loved my last role, company, and colleagues. Lattice was where I truly started, in earnest, my Marketing career. There, I learned how to run a Demand-Gen-function lite; learned multiple new Martech technologies integral to any Revenue Marketing motion; continued working on my executive presence, enablement skills, etc.
It was also at Lattice where I met and worked with some of the greatest people I’ll ever meet. My teammates were as benevolent as they were capable, and my manager has literally supercharged my career. The care that she and everyone I worked with had for me will never be lost.
However…I think it was my time to go.
If there’s anything the last year in tech has taught me, it’s that I owe myself the opportunity to best-position myself for present and future success and not my company undying loyalty.
Now, I can do that with no reservations, more up-to-date references, and a clear conscious.
What’s next?
A fruitful career as a sugarbaby.
(Jk...but I wouldn’t say no)
In all seriousness, I know that for me and the hundreds of thousands of folks in shoes similar to my own, that our next jobs will be our best.
With that, for any hiring managers happening to peruse this blog, find my requirements below:
Title: ABM/Demand Gen/Marketing Overlord
Responsibilities: overseeing entire GTM motion with a purely camera-off meeting allowance
Salary: I’ll settle for $1 million, but ideally am looking for $2 mil. with a 50% equity stake in my next company, regardless of size
Start date: Feb. 1, 2024…want a paid-year off between now and my start date to recharge
